Do you not yet understand?

“14Now they had forgotten to bring bread, and they had only one loaf with them in the boat. 15And he cautioned them, saying, ‘Watch out; beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod.’ 16And they began discussing with one another the fact that they had no bread. 17And Jesus, aware of this, said to them, ‘Why are you discussing the fact that you have no bread? Do you not yet perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? 18Having eyes do you not see, and having ears do you not hear? And do you not remember? 19When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up?’ They said to him, ‘Twelve.’ 20’And the seven for the four thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up?’ And they said to him, ‘Seven.’ 21And he said to them, ‘Do you not yet understand?'”

Leading up to this passage Jesus had healed the Syrophoenician woman’s demon possessed daughter, healed a deaf man, and fed a crowd of four thousand. So, naturally when Jesus tries to use leaven as a metaphor to teach the disciples they completely tune out the lesson and can only think of the fact that they don’t have enough bread for all of them to get their bellies full. Do they not yet understand?

The Lord has been and continues to be gracious and faithful to me. He has never left me in the lurch, but has provided for my every need even and especially when I am faithless.

And still, do I not yet understand?

No matter how chaotic my life may feel or look He is with me, guiding me, skillfully and perfectly writing my story.

Do I not yet understand?

He gives meaning to our pain and suffering. God gives us joy and hope in the midst of our struggles.

Do I not yet understand?

God lovingly orchestrates the lives of His children and has designed our experiences with the purpose of drawing us closer to Himself that we may more clearly resemble our Savior so that we may glorify our Father in Heaven.

Do I not yet understand?

Worry and despair are incompatible with trusting in God.

Do I not yet understand?

I am a daughter of the creator of the universe. I am a co- heir with the risen Lamb who was slain on my behalf.

Do I not yet understand?

God is faithful, oh He is faithful! And because of His faithfulness I can, by His grace, lay down my whole heart and my whole life at His feet. I can give Him my hopes and dreams and trust Him to give me what is best. I can give Him my deepest hurts and rest in knowing that He’ll use them to make something beautiful. I can give Him my past and present as I walk confidently into the future, knowing that whatever circumstance I may find myself in He is there giving me grace and strength for each moment.

Today I might not fully understand, but someday I will, until then I’ll keep on singing…

“Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way! Thou art the potter, I am the clay. Mold me and make me after thy will, while I am waiting, yielded and still.

Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way! Search me and try me, Savior today! Wash me just now, Lord, wash me just now, as in thy presence humbly I bow.

Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way! Wounded and weary, help me I pray! Power, all power, surely is thine! Touch me and heal me, Savior divine!

Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way! Hold o’er my being absolute sway. Fill with thy Spirit till all shall see Christ only, always, living in me!”