Today’s Grace

About three or four weeks ago I had a job interview. I was in this small office with four women staring at me and grilling me, asking me painfully stereotypical interview questions. My least favorite question that I was asked during the course of that interview was “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”. Everything inside of me wanted to say “I have no idea” because if the last 26 years have taught me anything it’s that I haven’t a clue what tomorrow looks like, let alone the next 5 years. Our lives can turn upside down, for better or for worse, in the span of a minute. To try and imagine the kind of struggles and joys that the next five years will hold is in a word–overwhelming. Too overwhelming. Too scary.

Because what if none of my hopes and dreams come true? What if I never get married? What if I never get that dream job? What if I never know the joy of having my own babies? What if all my most exciting days are behind me?

So, I’ve been learning to live in today’s grace rather than tomorrow’s heartaches. I’m learning to step outside of myself, outside of my emotions and focus on who God is regardless of what my circumstances look and feel like. So many times the happenings of our lives feel chaotic and arbitrary and that is profoundly painful; but nothing could be further from the truth. God is skillfully orchestrating the happenings of this earth, of each of our lives. God is always and forever actively pursuing two things: the good of His children and His glory. Never doubt that He will have both. And that, dear ones, is a beautiful and transforming truth.

Because Jesus is better. He is better than marriage. He is better than that dream job. He is better than babies. He is better than the greatest adventure our feeble minds could imagine. He is better and more satisfying than my deepest hopes and desires. He is. He is good. He is faithful. No matter what this life brings, He is good to me. And when I taste His goodness I shall not want.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
 for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
 I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
 your rod and your staff,
 they comfort me. You prepare a table before me
 in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
 my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
 all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord

–Psalm 23