This last month was a rough one. There’s been some heart break. I’ve had a lot of questions and I’ve fed a lot of fears. That’s one thing I’ve realized that I’m insanely good at–feeding my fears. And the enemy loves it, he preys upon that sinful talent of mine until I’m inconsolable.
Have you ever had one of those days when you have tried, tried so unbelievably hard to speak truth to your heart, to remind yourself of the deep truths of scripture only to have your heart say, “It’s not good enough. Today, Jesus is not enough. I want more. I want THAT.”? Maybe you haven’t. But I have. Oh, friends, my heart is so desperately wicked, so prone to wander.
Sometimes it’s hard, next to impossible to see what God is doing in your life. There are moments that it feels like He has come in with a wrecking ball, wreaking havoc for the sake of wreaking havoc.
But that’s not how He operates. Chaos is outside of God’s character. As my own life has felt uncertain and a bit chaotic recently, I’ve been reminded that God brings us to the point of famine only to nourish us; He brings in the wrecking ball to tear down our idols, to break down our reliance on self, to draw us closer to Himself, to mold us into the likeness of Christ.
Over the last month I’ve read the following passage approximately 87 times:
“10 When Pharaoh drew near, the people of Israel lifted up their eyes, and behold, the Egyptians were marching after them, and they feared greatly. And the people of Israel cried out to the Lord. 11 They said to Moses, ‘Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt? 12 Is not this what we said to you in Egypt: ‘Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians’? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness.’ 13 And Moses said to the people, ‘Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again.14 The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.'” –Exodus 14:10-14
Why had God brought them this far to let them die? Why did He give them hope and then snatch it away? I can’t imagine what their cries sounded like, I can’t imagine what their fears felt like. The Israelites had every reason to believe that they were facing certain death–except that they didn’t, because their faithful God was once again working for their good and His glory, they needed only to trust Him.
When the present feels too much like the past, when the future is so uncertain, in that moment when it feels like your world is caving in, when the pain is too much to bear, when you have absolutely nothing to give, when hope seems out of your reach, remember this: God is not confined by what your current circumstances look like. And His ways are greater, so much greater than our feeble minds could possibly comprehend. Just stand firm and see the salvation of the Lord.
And it’s hard, oh friends, it is so very hard to stand firm, to wage war, to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. I get so tired of the fight. I’m tired of waging war against my own flesh and against the powers of this world. I’m just so tired. And yet, in those moments I’m called to fight harder. Not in my strength, but in His. The fight, the struggle against my flesh is to let go and let God. The struggle is to understand that the battle is His–He will fight for me, I need only to be still. But that’s not what the world tells me. No, the world tells me that I’ve been cheated. The world tells me that I should have what I want and I should be able to have it now, damn the consequences. Satan tells me that my mistakes have been too great and continues to throw them in my face. But He is greater. He is greater than this momentary affliction. He is greater than my sinful, aching heart. He whispers truth into my heart through His word. He shows me that in the midst of embarrassing failures He is still working in me to sanctify me through and through. He is. He goes before me. He is loving and gracious. Compassionate and merciful. He is mighty to save.
So as you wade thru the uncertainties, stand firm. Stand firm in His steadfast love. Stand firm in His forgiveness and grace. Stand firm and take comfort in His sovereignty.
He goes before us. The battle is His and it’s already been won.